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TIS' BUT TRUTH IN MASQUERADE.
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ELFARINA♥
"If you don't live for something, you'll die for nothing."
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"I loved you first," she said.
Monday, October 3, 2011

(I shall share the most recent picture of myself, though I think I look a lil cock-eyed here o_o)

Oh hey, I guess I am back... to having short hair. It's all real this time. I feel like I've been on a roller-coaster ride and that it finally ended! Or maybe it stopped for awhile, I don't know? Boring, cliche-d imagery there, I admit... but you see, that's the easiest explanation I can think of at 3.20am in the morning when I think about how I should summarize how my days have been passing. Indeed, the past few weeks, I've felt like I was all over the place. Neither here nor there - not anywhere, in fact. What the fuck am I trying to say? God knows. That's one of the many beauty of language, isn't it? I can string words and form sentences in a grammatically correct manner, but still I do not seem to make any sense at all.

Or am I?
I wish I am, to you. And you too, I suppose. Or you could just try a little harder, couldn't you?
It's okay, I understand if you wouldn't.
What the fuck am I saying again? Man, I wish I had tried blogging in such a vague manner like this since way back. Except I suppose I couldn't, due to lack of maturity. I couldn't be bothered to think so much back then too, that's another reason. Hmm... but do I want to be a few years' younger again? No.

Okay okay anyway, it's back to school again for me after a week of being "on recess week". I wonder if anyone realizes the irony of having a recess week when you barely have time to breathe nowadays. Or maybe it's just me, for that's how I've been feeling recently. Fucking suffocated, in a way or two. Perhaps more. Oh gosh, I wish my fingers would type what my mind's truly thinking at this very moment. Actually no, I shall keep my thoughts to myself. I would not want to cause more damage and scar more insignificant others. (One of the many lessons I supposedly have to learn: Be kind to others and others shall be kind to you. So far, it has seemed to be top-notch advice, don't you think?) It's funny, by the way, how I feel like I've been through hell/heaven/imaginary place(s) and back, yet nothing seemed to change. I haven't lost anything except my mind. Even so, only maybe. Cause I've still gotten confirmation from all around me that my mind's functioning, perfectly well in fact. Are you sure? I'd ask again, verging on the risk of being annoying.

Tonight, or this morning rather, I feel good. Nothing special happened, good or bad, yet I feel good. Kudos to me for I am so drained out just trying to feel good. Or happy, if that's a clearer word for you. I don't know why but I seem to lose the ability to describe how I feel specifically recently. I suppose it's because I have not simply been feeling one specific emotion. But tonight, I'd say I feel good. So while I still feel good, I should lie down on my bed and get some sleep. I sure wouldn't want to be back in school feeling all grouchy, like a mad wrinkled hunch-backed woman/man.

I'll update this space when I feel this good again. Promise.
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It's a Wrap! Down The Rabbit Hole. Up Close and Personal. Not Just Yet. The Earth revolves around The Sun. Bright Shiny Things. Take A Look At Me Now. Just a short one. Don't Let Go. That bad girl power I've got, I'll abuse it tonight.


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